When marriages are going right, life is pretty sweet. But sometimes making it work until “death do you part” or even the end of the week is a challenge. Every year 2.3 million couples get married and 1.2 million get divorced. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, authors of “Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts” asked a question – “What if there was a way to change all that through the local church?” The Parrott’s believe that the answer is to train up certified marriage mentors within the local church to address challenges faced by other couples.
We’d like to do that here at North Wake.
Frequently Asked Questions About Marriage Mentoring
What is Marriage Mentoring?
It is a seasoned, more experienced couple purposefully investing in another couple to effectively help them navigate a journey that the seasoned couple has already taken.
What is required to become a Marriage Mentor?
Becoming a mentor is being willing to walk alongside another couple to share life together for a time – allowing them to learn from your successes and challenges in a real and authentic way. Mentoring is simple. It is not about being a professional counselor and it is not a parenting relationship. It’s about a healthy couple that wants to be generous and share life with another. You don’t have to know everything or have all the answers – it is not about lecturing. You also don’t have to have a marriage without enrichment based challenges – it’s about being real and authentic and allowing someone to learn from your experiences. It’s an opportunity to bring hope and encouragement to a couple that’s walking a few years behind you.
If we were interested in becoming Mentors, What would we need to do?
To be effective, you need the right skills. The Parrott’s have developed an on-line training program (you could do this in your pajamas in the comfort of your own home), along with numerous resources and idea generators. But the training is designed to function like separate date night conversations and exercises with your spouse. It is really quite enjoyable. The program will help you be effective and do no harm. I have money budgeted to pay for this training. The training will provide you certification and confidence in mentoring. If you want to know details about the training ask Mike or Beury Derstine, they have done it! If you are interested in becoming a mentor please contact Mike Derstine.
I’m pretty busy, I’m not sure about being able to be a mentor?
Mentoring is flexible – make it fit with your life. George Robinson and Alvin Reid wrote a great book on discipleship called “With”. One of the key principles in that book is to disciple others while bringing them along “with” you, in what you’re doing already. Mentoring is the same, it is allowing other couples to see you in action (interacting with your spouse and children normally) and then gather to talk about it. We’re not asking for a long-term commitment. Mentoring might be a few months, up to nine months.
What we’re asking for first is willingness to join with us in becoming a mentor couple.
How are Mentees paired with Mentors?
We have a brief assessment for each in order to pair up mentees with mentors who might have like experiences.
If being a Mentor is not possible for me right now, is there another way we could support your efforts?
Yes! We’re asking for your help to identify couples that might benefit from meeting with a mentor. This might be a newly married couple or one that is being challenged in a particular area of their marriage.